STRESS STRESS STRESS.
So..baby shower was yesterday. Finally it came and I’m so glad for all the family and friends who came. We got a lot of stuff JayLeAnah and I love all the gifts! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYONE WHO CAME AND PLAYED GAMES AND ATE AND FOR THE GIFTS!! We really appreciated it and now we wait for her arrival…HOPEFULLY it’s not a long wait.
Seriously, I had a lot of fun at the baby shower, but after everyone left and came into bed, I cried myself to sleep. Sad thing is theres so much crap that can go through in a girls head. Stupid stuff, useless stuff, just things that could just break a girl down. Ever wonder being with someone you hella love and they do stupid shit like get drunk at your second childs baby shower?! When your drunk, the truth does come out. You then realize and see whats in front of you. All the actions they do, all the words they say, and just exactly how they respond or treat you. Its ashame if its only the alcohol talking, but honestly, you do know what your doing and you do know what the consequenses are. I think twice and realize if the only guy I hella love can be the only person who can actually hurt me this much, then whats the point of being around? To keep getting hurt and being treated like your unwanted?!.. Cause now I don’t even know what to do around him. Should I just let myself be more independent then to depend so much on him? Or should I just ignore what my head is telling me and just go with the flow and whatever happens, happens? I need to see a damn counselor foreal… Maybe I should just keep quiet and just not care anymore. JayRyan & JayLeAnah need me so much more and these two are my reasons to be strong. I never thought being strong for your kids was going to be this hard…
Well JayRyan needs me now, and I need to pee and shower. SO bye to all you bloggers or anyone reading this.
